Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Jude

When I asked alot of moms with 3 children how it is with three when I was pregnant, I heard most often "oh they just slot in to the family" and "you don't have three hands, that's the hardest part!" Both are very true.

There are days where I wish I could just put my other two children on hold so I could just ENJOY Jude, love him, watch him breath while he sleeps. See every smile. But I snatch small times. Some kisses here, a bath with just the two of us there.

My special time (3-5 stolen minutes) is when I put him to sleep. My new rule is when I put Jude down for a sleep N&A aren't allowed to talk to me. I found myself yelling down the hall to my other two kids who are saying "MOM! I'm thirsty" or "MOM! (fill in the blank!)" and I'd call back "JUST a minute I'm changing Jude's diaper" or "Wait, Jude is trying to fall asleep" and I'd feel all anxious, and torn between grown kid needs and baby needs. And then Jude would start crying more than normal to sleep. I realized he thought I was yelling at HIM, or maybe he was feeling me be all tense. Then I'd remember that I'm not glorifying the Lord by being all tense with my kids...who wants a frazzled "anxious for everything" mommy?

So now I tell my kiddos "ok, Jude needs me now, I'll be 5 minutes, remember no calling me unless it's an emergency, God wants me to take care of Jude too!"
And whew, 5 minutes of just us. Quiet. Change diaper, a few cozies, and bed! That's when I get to sing a little, play with the new little soft toes, and just WATCH him. Then back to the tornado of legos, dollies, crumbs, juice, and funny conversations.
I remember with Noah AND Autumn having all this time to just fall in love...quiet moments. Noah still slept twice a day when Autumn was born, so I had some Autumn wakey time when Noah was sleeping. Now I feel like I have to fight for that time, but it's so sweet when I get it!
But I'm learning to tell my kids that I just want a few minutes to ENJOY Jude while he's so small, and THEN I'll make them lunch, get their toy, or juice. And then we enjoy him together, usually it's trying to instigate a smile.
2 months have soared by at rocket speed, and I wish as if I could just slow down the clock. But with my floor most of the time looking like the crumb monster had a party, and endless juice cups to be filled, laundry folded, and sweet teaching moments (sometimes discipline ones) it makes it fly by even faster.
So I'll slow down the clock right now and write about Jude....

I love how you smile in the middle of a feed, looking up at me like we have some secret. I love how you lift your head up in your cot when you sleep to stare at your favorite car when you doze, and when I go in to check on you your head is still a little cocked up from staring at it. I love how you manage to get very icky stuff between your fingers and refuse to let me pry them open in the bath to get them clean. I love how you smell after a bath. I love how patient you are when I can't feed you right away. I love the soft coo sounds you make when your happy, and the times when I CAN just watch you sleep.

Ok, back to rocket speed!



3 comments:

Melissa said...

loved this post!!

The Mom said...

Thanks for writing this Kim, I feel like you took the words out of my head, or rather wrote the words that wouldn't come together in my head. I feel like our home and our days are just as you described and I want so much to sit down and write about it all, yet when I finally do sit down nothing that I write makes sense. I loved your reminders to slow down and enjoy my baby, even if it's just for 3 minutes. Even if they weren't meant to be reminders for me, they were!! :o)

Robyn said...

...exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself. :)